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NEW FAMILY 12K FIDDLE-BASES HATE YOU....

Updated: Jan 4, 2019



GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING...


YEARS AGO, IN THE FEW DAYS LEADING UP TO MY FIRST EVER PURCHASE OF AN ANTIQUE SINGER SEWING MACHINE, SEVERAL PEOPLE ALLAYED MY FEARS BY SAYING ''DONT PANIC....SINGERS NEVER BREAK...AND EVEN IF YOU DO HAVE A PROBLEM, PARTS ARE EASILY OBTAINABLE''....AND THEY WERE RIGHT....AND THESE WORDS HAVE SINCE BEEN REPEATED BY MYSELF ON MANY OCCASIONS TO OTHERS WHO WERE ABOUT TO TAKE THE PLUNGE...HAPPY DAYS INDEED ALL-ROUND.


WE WERE ALL WRONG. SINGER NEW FAMILY 12K FIDDLEBASES HATE US. THEY HATE US ALL. AND I'M TALKING ABOUT DEEP, DARK, BLACK, BOTTOM-LESS PIT KIND OF HATRED.


TORTOISES ARE THROWBACKS TO THAT DINOSAUR AGE BUT DONT EVER THINK THAT BECAUSE THEYRE CUTE THAT A T-REX IS EVER GOING TO LET YOU PET IT. 12K'S ARE THE SAME...THEY WILL FIGHT, BITE AND CLAW YOU AT EVERY STEP OF THE WAY SHOULD YOU TRY AND BE NICE AND PAT ONE ON THE HEAD AND SAY 'THERE THERE FIDO....''


AS YOU KNOW I'VE NOW GOT A FAIRLY EXTENSIVE EXPERIENCE OF WORKING WITH SINGER SEWING MACHINES OF EVERY MODEL AND CONDITION GOING BACK THE LAST 100 YEARS...BUT WHEN YOU TAKE THAT SMALL STEP FURTHER AND GO 100+ YEARS YOURE ENTERING A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD....AND WITH HINDSIGHT I'D SORTA NOTICED IT BEFORE FOR EXAMPLE WITH THAT RECENT FLOWER-DECAL 27K....I JUST HADNT REALISED....


OVER THE XMAS PERIOD I THOUGHT I'D TACKLE SOMETHING I'D BEEN SAVING AND WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO...THAT OF TAKING A FIRST LOOK AT MY NINE SINGER 12'S...A XMAS TREAT IF YOU LIKE...I'D PLANNED TO NOT ONLY GET THE ONES THAT WOULD BE GOING IN MY COLLECTION SORTED OUT BUT ALSO 2 OR 3 FOR SALE ON MY UPCOMING NEW WEBSITE...I HAD A COUPLE THAT WERE IN POOR CONDITION AND THE PLAN WAS TO STRIP THEM OF PARTS AND UPGRADE THE REMAINDERS TO MAKE THEM ULTRA-SNAZZ.


I'D NEVER DONE A 12K BEFORE AND WAS OF COURSE AWARE THAT THEY WERE 'DIFFERENT', BEING MADE IN THAT TIME BEFORE THINGS BECAME MORE STANDARDISED AND LIKE ''SEWING MACHINES THAT WE STILL KNOW TO THIS DAY'' IF YOU GET ME....66'S, 99'S, 201'S, 27'S, 15'S ARE ALL SORT OF SIMILAR....IF YOURE WORKING WITH THEM YOURE KIND OF ON FAMILIAR GROUND....OK THE SHUTTLE/BOBBIN TECHNOLOGIES CHANGED BUT MANY MANY THINGS ARE THE

SAME AND INTER-CHANGEABLE ETC ETC...12K'S ARE PRETTY MUCH COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM EVERYTHING ELSE AND IN EVERY WAY....AND AS IT TURNS OUT EVEN WITHIN THEMSELVES THEYRE DIFFERENT...I'VE DISCOVERED THAT THE COGS INSIDE THE CRANKS TO WHICH THE HANDLES ARE ATTACHED ARE DIFFERENT....AND WEIRDLY HOWEVER HARD I'VE TRIED TO EXAMINE THEM UNDER HALOGEN LAMPS MY EYE IS NOT ACCURATE ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY SEE THE DIFFERENCE....BUT TRY SWAPPING A COUPLE OVER AND THEY WONT WORK....ABOUT AN HOUR AGO I WAS REACHING THE FINAL MINUTES OF THIS FIRST STAGE OF RESTORATION AND TO MY HUGE ANNOYANCE I'VE NOW DISCOVERED THAT FOR SOME MADDENING REASON ONE OF THE BASES IS

ACTUALLY QUARTER OF AN INCH SMALLER THAN THE OTHER 8... WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????????

ITS DEFINITELY A 12K BASE BUT ITS SMALLER....WHICH NOW TOTALLY MESSES UP THE ARRANGEMENT I HAD AND NOW MEANS I'VE GOT TO SPEND WHAT WILL TURN OUT TO BE AT LEAST A BLOODY HOUR FINDING A PERMUTATION SOLUTION THAT I'M HAPPY WITH AND FIDDLING AROUND WITH THE ENRAGING WAY IN WHICH THEYRE ALL SCREWED IN .....UNLIKE THE HINGES USED ON LATER MODELS.


I'VE HAD A THREADED HOLE SIMPLY DISINTEGRATE ON ME THROUGH AGE DECAY. I HAD A BELT GUARD SIMPLY CRACK....PROBABLY AGAIN JUST BECAUSE OF AGE AND METAL DECAY. I MEAN, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SERIOUSLY HIGH-GRADE SINGER STEEL HERE....SIMPLY CRUMBLING....AND BACK THEN THESE DUDES DIDNT HAVE LOVELY MINERAL OIL ON THEM....IT WAS GREASE ALL THE WAY....PROBABLY GOOSE FAT IN THERE TOO....MAYBE EVEN THE WORST OF THE WORST - 2 IN 1 (DANNY)....OK, 2 IN 1 WASNT INVENTED I KNOW BUT TRUST ME IF YOU GET A 12K YOURE GOING TO SEE LUBRICANTS LITERALLY FOSSILISED AND IMPOSSIBLE TO GET OFF IN ANY APPROPRIATE WAY...YOUR HANDS WILL LOOK LIKE YOURE A CAR MECHANIC IF YOU EVEN SO MUCH AS CONTEMPLATE OPENING UP A CRANK...IF YOU THEN ACTUALLY DECIDE TO OPEN UP A CRANK YOU WONT BE ABLE TO BECAUSE IT WONT LET YOU AND IT WILL LAUGH AT YOU BECAUSE YOULL HAVE ITS SPIT RUNNING DOWN YOUR FACE.


YOULL HAVE TO FIND WAYS TO GET SCREWS OUT THAT DEFY ALL THE LAWS OF PHYSICS....FOR EXAMPLE....WITH A HAMMER.....A CHISEL...A CIGARETTE LIGHTER. YES YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. AND EVEN IF YOU MANAGE IT THE SCREW HEADS WILL BE TOTALLY MANGLED AND COVERED IN YOUR BLOOD....(AND LET ME SEE YOU TRY TO FIND REPLACEMENTS HAHAHAHA!!!!)


YOULL DEVELOP HEADACHES. EYE-STRAIN....YOUR TEMPERAMENT WILL PLUMMET....YOULL DESPISE EVERYONE ALIVE, ESPECIALLY ISAAC SINGER AND YOURSELF.....YOULL START TO DRINK MORE ALCOHOL AND NOT EAT....YOU WILL NOT HAVE FELT DAYLIGHT ON YOUR FACE FOR QUITE SOME TIME BY THIS POINT AND IN YOUR FINAL PALLID STAGES YOULL BE BEGGING FOR A QUICK DEMISE AND WISHING YOU COLLECTED POKEMON CARDS AND BEANIE BABIES INSTEAD.


IN A FINAL ATTEMPT TO SURVIVE YOULL HIT EBAY (DO NOT BOTHER IF YOU NEED PARTS FOR A LARGE ROSES OR OTTOMAN VARIANT, JUST TOP YOURSELF RIGHT NOW....YOUVE MORE CHANCE OF PETTING A T-REX ON THE HEAD WHILST SAYING 'THERE, THERE FIDO....' AND KEEPING YOUR FINGERS) HOPING THAT WHAT YOU NEED IS THERE, ONLY TO BE SMACKED ROUND THE FACE WHEN YOU SEE THAT JUST A SHUTTLE ALONE WILL SET YOU BACK 50 QUID....A 12K HANDCRANK....50 QUID....A WORN BASE (NO LID).....30 QUID....ETC ETC....AND YOULL NOW FEEL LIKE A COMPLETELY OBSESSED PALLID FOOL REALISING THAT TO EXTRICATE YOURSELF FROM THIS SITUATION WILL COST YOU 4 TIMES MORE THAN YOU PAID FOR THE WHOLE BLOODY MACHINE IN THE FIRST PLACE....BUT BECAUSE YOUR SOUL IS STILL BARELY FLICKERING, YOULL NEVER TAKE THE LOGICAL AND SENSIBLE ROUTE OF DISMANTLING ALL OF YOUR BASTARD 12KS (EVEN

THOUGH THEY DESERVE IT) AND SELLING THEM FOR PARTS INSTEAD AND USING THE MONEY TO TAKE A WELL NEEDED AND DESERVED HOLIDAY....INSTEAD YOU'LL DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO RESOLVE THE PROBLEM SUCH AS LOSING YOUR TEMPER EVERY 5 MINUTES, THROWING THINGS AROUND YOUR WORKSHOP, RUNNING UP YOUR CREDIT CARD, FILLING THE HOUSE WITH HALF-RESTORED MACHINES (THAT HATE YOU) AND THEREFORE ARGUING WITH YOUR BETTER HALF (BAD) BUT AT THE SAME TIME CREATING AN INTERESTING OBSTACLE COURSE FOR YOUR KIDS (GOOD), BUYING FAKE-TAN TO MAKE UP FOR LACK OF VITAMIN D (I LOOK LIKE I JUST GOT BACK FROM IBIZA....SO A HOLIDAY OF SORTS I GUESS) AND SO ON....AND YOULL DO THIS BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY DESPISE YOUR VERY GUTS....12K'S ARE BEAUTIFUL AND INCREDIBLE AND PRECISELY BECAUSE OF THEIR SPECIFIC ASSOCIATED PROBLEMS THEY THEREFORE MERIT WHATEVER AND AS MUCH AS YOU CAN GIVE THEM TO KEEP THEM GOING AND IN THE BEST SHAPE POSSIBLE....


ITS TRULY BEEN HELL....AND IN A WEEK I'VE ONLY SORTED OUT THEIR BACK HALVES, RE-OILED THEIR BASES AND LIDS, CLEANED THEM AS BEST I CAN AND LUBED THEM....I'M STILL YET TO TAKE THE BACK PLATES OFF TO GET INSIDE THE MECHANICS, DO THE UNDERSIDE MECHANICS AND ALSO TAKE OFF THE FACE-PLATES AND GET TO WORK IN THERE....THE HARDEST STUFFS YET TO COME.


SERIOUSLY...IF YOU WANT MY NEW AND UPDATED ADVICE CONCERNING BUYING AN OLD SINGER I'D NOW SAY....YEAH, DO IT....AS LONG AS ITS NOT A 12K.


12K'S DO NOT LIKE YOU VERY MUCH. THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR MODERN LIFE.


IF YOU DO BUY ONE MAKE SURE YOU SPEND AT LEAST!!!! 200 QUID ON THE BEST ONE AVAILABLE ON EBAY OR GET ONE OFF A TOTAL IDIOT LIKE ME....SOMEONE STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT SO MUCH OF HIS OWN MONEY AND TIME INTO THIS SHIT THAT HIS NEW SEWING MACHINE BUSINESS WILL GO BANKRUPT BEFORE IT STARTS.


OR SPEND 50 QUID AND HAVE A GO YOURSELF....


TO THOSE WHO ARE ABOUT TO DIE, I SALUTE YOU!


PS IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO GET A BALANCE WHEEL OFF A 12K PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!



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